Different is good.

I’ve never been too fond of parenting advice, or any kind of advice really.  So much of it sounds like something that’s been translated from Japanese into German then into English.  You know that somewhere along the line the translation got screwed up and a “don’t” turned into a “do”, or, worse,  a “cool water” turned into “puppy saliva”.  If it makes you question the sobriety of the advisor, it’s probably not the best advice.  Instead of advice, I prefer the “What works for me” approach.  My best friend gave me her version of this insight when I was pregnant with my daughter.  Basically, take the information you can use now and file the rest away in the back of your brain until it sounds like a good idea at 4am and your newborn won’t stop screaming.  The conversation usually goes something like this…

ME:  My kid keeps…. And I wish she’d stop it.
FRIEND:  Well, I don’t know if it will work for you, but what worked for me was….

It’s almost as if the person giving the “advice” can’t quite believe it worked and doesn’t want to be blamed if it doesn’t work for me.  That type of suggestion is far better than the “only way to do it” kind of advice.  I don’t generally respond well to the “Only Way” of doing things, and most people I know are the same.  That’s the thing about parenting and kids.  Every parent, child and situation is different, vastly different, so no one solution will work for everyone.  Even with the same parents, kids are individuals and need different approaches for the same problems.  That’s possibly the largest thing I’ve learned over the last two years.  My kid is different from your kid, and even my other kid, and that’s okay.  In fact, it’s good, it’s what differentiates us from robots and computers.  Different is good, and that definitely works for me.