Breastfeeding 202: Another Kick at the Cans

I was nervous about a few things when I looked ahead to having baby number 2.  Would I have enough love/time/energy to spread between two, and not let number 1 suffer?  Yes, but it now becomes quality over quantity that matters.  Would I be able to handle the lack of sleep that I never quite recovered from the first time?  Grandmas are amazing.  And would I have the same difficulties with breastfeeding that I had the first time around?  Yes, and no. 

When my daughter was born I was under the illusion that breastfeeding was a natural, easy and cheap way to feed my baby.  Not so much.  Anyone who tells a first time mom that breastfeeding comes easily and that both Mom and Baby “just know what to do” should be shot.  That belief had me in tears for weeks, months, while I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong the first time around.  I made it nearly 3 months with my daughter.  That’s about the time that my hubby realized that the stress of trying to do “the right thing” was going to kill us all and convinced me it was okay to stop.  I admit, I gave up, but only after spending more than 50% of every single day either breastfeeding, pumping, bottle feeding, mixing formula, packing myself with heat packs, massaging and taking teeny little pills a bunch of times per day.  I’m sure there were other things I did too, but thankfully my brain has blocked that trauma out.  I cried more tears over breastfeeding my daughter than I have over every other cry-able thing in my life combined.  That includes all of my angst ridden teenage years. I was determined to do things differently this time, but that didn’t mean an automatic formula fed baby.

I understand the reasoning and the benefits of breastfeeding, which is why I, like so many other moms, fight so hard to do it.  What I don’t understand is the fanatical attitude that so many people take when it comes to moms who just can’t do it.  I decided to give myself a break this time, just relax about it and hope for the best.  I was able to anticipate the potential issues I would have (like my milk not coming in until Baby was 5 days old, then disappearing as rapidly as it appeared) and wrangle whatever help I could from nurses, doctors and public health services.  Things are less frustrating this time around, but not exactly more fruitful.  There are so many things that can go wrong, many of which are beyond my control, like Baby’s latch or how much milk my body is willing to produce.  Yes, there are things I can do to help and I’m doing them, but even then it’s no guarantee.  I am definitely feeling better about breastfeeding, though.  I’m not feeling so guilty or frightened that if I don’t breastfeed until my son is at least a year old he’ll be a chronically ill, dumb, badly behaved child.  That is definitely not what I got with my daughter.  She’s brilliant, healthy and well-behaved (for the most part, anyway, she is two).  Maybe that’s why I feel better this time around.  I know it’s all beyond my control and all I can do is my best effort.  I’d just really like my best effort to give me a better result.  I’m working on it, but even if it doesn’t work out, I know that I tried and my son will have more love than he knows what to do with.  That’s the important thing, right?  Love.  So, to all the breastfeeding fanatics out there, back off, I don’t want or need your speeches.  I may have barely enough milk (at this point), but I have more than enough love.

It's a Boy!

I just realized that it’s been 2 weeks since I posted.  Bad start, but I have the most incredible excuse possible.  It’s a boy!  This little person that I’ve carried for the last 9 months finally made his appearance 16 days ago.  He’s perfect, and beautiful, and more wonderful than I could have hoped for.  I now have the perfect little family, one girl, one boy.  But I have, so far, found one major difference between boys and girls.  I’m sure I’ll find others, but this one’s a biggie. Boys will pee on anyone who leaves themselves vulnerable.  Virtually everyone who has opened this kids diaper has been sprayed, even showered.  My daughter has peed on me maybe a handful of times over her two and a half year life span, and I don’t expect that number to go up any time soon.  In the course of 16 days, my beautiful little boy has easily multiplied that number.

While the boy is peeing on anything that gets in shot range, my beautiful daughter has decided that now is the time to stop doing such things.  With Grandma and Daddy’s help she, at two and a half, is completely potty trained!  Now, I think she’s amazing, because I think that this is pretty early for such an important milestone.  Maybe I’m confused on this point, but regardless of timing, I couldn’t be more proud.  Of course, she still insists on showing us what she has deposited, every time, and we all do the potty dance and chant her name and sing happy songs, but that’s what’s making her successful, and it’s kinda fun, so we’ll keep it up as long as we need to (I mean, really, what 16 year old still cheers when she poo-poo’s in the big girls toilet!).  It’s strange, though, that everything I read about potty training said not to do it during this time, with all the changes and newness, but I think that’s why it worked for us.  She has something special and positive that gets our attention every time, without fail.  If Mommy is feeding the baby, or changing the baby, or even sleeping, she celebrates the victory with the princess, every single time.  It’s a happy time and big sister gets to just be Mommy and Daddy’s little girl again for a little bit. 

It’s been an adventurous couple of weeks and hopefully I’ll have the chance to fill in some gaps in the next little while (I promise to post more often).  Things have slowed down for the time being, but we still have a condo to sell and renovations to start and a move to make and…well, “slow” is maybe not the word.

By the way, if you have some potty training to accomplish in the future, Home Depot (and others) carries this fantastic toilet seat that has a toddler seat built right into it.  Even beyond training it’s awesome to keep little bums from falling into the toilet. The toddler seat is inset into the actual lid, and stays there, via magnet, unless you actually pull it down.  It’s easier and nicer looking than the add-on seats and costs about the same as a regular toilet seat. And you can use it until all the little bums in your house are big enough for a regular seat.  Check your local home improvement store.  We bought ours at Home Depot.